I Swear To God This Time It's Gonna Last
by LukeAndLorelai Brucas Fan
Summary: "It's not going to be like last time."  "That's what you said when you called about San Francisco. Baltimore, Philly…" Post finale Lit. Oneshot.


AN: Oh, what's this? Something new and diff- oh, nope, my mistake, just another joyride on the Rory-and-Jess Express. All aboard! I started this one weeks ago but then Life got in the way, and brought Death along for a visit, so I pushed it aside, but felt like sitting down to take another look tonight. It's fresh out of the oven my dear's so I hope you enjoy. Reviews are love.

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><p>With the coffee brewing in the kitchen and her bags stacked by the door, she wasn't very surprised when the phone rang in the early hours – usually her mother liked to get in one last chat before she was due to hit the tarmac, or her boss wanted to pass on one last piece of advice.<p>

But even without having to think she knew it was neither of these women, but in fact a man.

"Hello?"

"I was thinking of Mexico," came the reply, in a voice she knew better than the national anthem, or the back of her own hand. "Wanna come with me?"

"For how long this time?" She enquired, checking her wristwatch; still an hour until she had to leave for the airport.

"As long as we want,"

Rory glanced at the framed picture across from her; a sunset over the ocean, with dolphins stencilled in, colours bleeding into one another. The dolphins were new – just two months earlier there was another picture of chocolate brown eyes and a rare smile caught at just the right moment before it turned from sweet to sarcastic in South Carolina.

"Until you get restless again," she shot back, sounding harsher than she intended.

It was always the same with him, start fresh, somewhere new – a few good weeks in California, three months of bliss in Philly, twelve beautiful sunny days in Florida before the storm hit hard and fast – and then just like that it was over

He was gone again and she was back to staring at a photo.

But she'd beat him this time, put the pictures away before his call, erased him from her home early.

"It's not going to be like last time."

"That's what you said when you called about San Francisco. Baltimore, Philly…"

"I know, but this is different. Rory, I swear, it's-"

"I'm going to D.C." She told him; usually when he made these calls, the only place she was going was home, but not this time.

"Washington? Sure, that'll work too. Better, even, not as many tourists, and less sun, so less chance of melanoma."

"I'm working. I have a job, a life. For god sakes I'll be thirty next month I can't keep acting like a teenager with no responsibilities. You can't either."

"Sure I can, you can too, you'll see. Just meet me-"

"I can't."

"You're packed aren't you? Heading for Washington you'd be all set to go by now."

"I'm working." She ground out again.

"That's fine. I'll just wait around until you're done, I don't mind."

"You don't mind…" she shook her head, squeezing the bridge of her nose and partly wishing she'd just let the call go to voicemail. "Don't you understand what you do to me every time you say you want to start over?" she demanded, drowning out his response, something of a repeat of what he said earlier. "I get my hopes up, even though, I know – I have to know, other wise I'd be a complete moron – I know that it won't work, that we won't make it. We'll never make it. I used to think that we just needed some space, some time, maybe when we'd grown up. But we've had that and still we're nowhere near a healthy relationship, it's all you disappearing and me trying not to cry to my mother anymore, because she's way overdue for an 'I told you so'. Then she'd tell Luke and he'd want to kill you. And no matter how much I want to kill you when you do this to me, I don't really mean it, but I feel like he would, at least for a moment, so I have to stop myself from telling her what happened and that just makes it worse. And then you do it all over again. And I love you Jess. Ok, I admit it, hell; you know that, I've told you before. I love you, but I can't keep putting my life back together after you've moved on again. It's too hard, and I've lost too many pieces along the way to get it even close to right. So, you know what? I'm glad you called you can hear this from me for the last time. I am done. We are done. The girl you're looking for doesn't live here anymore, so please, lose this number."

There was silence on the other end; save for a little background noise, Rory guessed he was already at the airport, clutching his ticket to Mexico.

"It won't be like that," he finally replied. "We'll find a way to make it work, and if we don't I'll call Luke myself, give him my exact location and hand him a loaded gun if that's how he wants to deal with me." Rory almost laughed at that, she felt the faintest of smiles twisting at her lips. "But Rory I am telling you, I want this, I always have. I'll do anything to make it right this time. I love you too; I just want you with me."

After he's done, she thinks of the scant number of times he's said those words to her in the past. Each time it was with conviction and all except for the first time she believed him, despite the fact that his actions mirror the way he acted that first time anyway.

She's almost completely certain that he's wrong, that it won't work this time, just like it didn't work any of the other times that they tried. But still she hears herself explaining she'll meet him at the baggage claim in Washington.

She should know better than this, but she can't help it,


End file.
